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Toluwanimi Debayo-Doherty

Guard Your Home

Updated: Jan 12

Good Morning, Lavenders. Happy Wednesday. I am so glad we are halfway through the week. This week has been fantastic for me, and I hope the same for you. In today's blog, I will discuss "Guard Your Home." I hope you enjoy the blog; please like, share, comment, and subscribe. Thank you :).



When you hear the words "Guard Your Home," what comes to mind?

One of my biggest mistakes growing up was not guarding my home. You might be wondering what I mean by this, and I will explain.



I grew up in a single-parent home. There are many different types of families and family dynamics in our society and world. Growing Up in a single-parent home came with its ups and downs, incredible highs and low lows. Like every other family and relationship, my family had its fair share of ups and downs. For a 13-year-old, guarding your home is keeping things within your home that should be. I did the complete opposite of this. I do not know if you recall in the blog post, "Energy and Boundaries in Relationships," when I discussed relationship priorities.


Where I had too many voices in my life giving me different advice and opinions; well, this occurred throughout my teenage years. I was drained, stuck, and confused. The event that caused me to change was what happened during my first year of college. In a future blog post, I will be sharing this. It was the most dramatic event that has ever happened in my life. The core issue was that I prioritized people who did not deserve it, and I became a walking mess and reaped the fruit of my labor.



One of the mistakes many teens make during their teen years is believing they can live their lives without their parent's involvement. I can tell you from experience that there are other routes to take or go. There are many disadvantages to this route. From my experience, there were three major ones.



The first lesson is made fun of by people around you. When you discuss private issues or private family issues with outsiders. You become vulnerable and a laughing stock. People talk about you. Nothing you say is private and personal anymore. I was viewed as foolish and wasted my teenage years being the fool everyone around me toyed with. I wanted to please everyone around me.




The second lesson is the comments and negative attention you receive. For me, I allowed this. A few phrases I heard throughout 2020 were "Stop deceiving yourself? I do not trust you either?" You might be wondering why I was told this because I allowed it. When you allow too many voices in your life, people will take advantage of the power you grant them, and you will regret it later. It did not dawn on me that this was happening until a few months before I turned 20 and decided to change. I was tired of people who were not my family having a strong voice in my life. I was viewed as weak and easily submissive; I talked a lot. It was an entire mess.



The third lesson is family will always stick together. The irony to this lesson was that the people I was going to discuss my issues with told their family members, and their family members would often judge, insult, mock, or disgrace me because of my actions. My cousin once told me, "Many people around me do not care about your well-being; they just want to use your own to gist." This is precisely what happened throughout my teenage years, and I wish I could go back and correct everything. I wasted my saliva, energy, effort, and time. I could have been using the precious time to grow and develop myself and build a great relationship with my mom. One day, I sat down and began to think, "What have I gained from eight years of talking to outsiders about my issues?" the answer was nothing.




I wrote this blog post to help other teens and young adults my age who are making the same mistakes that I made. I write for others to learn from my mistakes. Do not neglect the love and importance of your parents and allow outsiders to fill that space. Please do not make the same mistakes that I did. My teenage years would have been so stress-free and better if I had developed a great relationship with my mom from the beginning of my adolescence. Do not be foolish and allow outsiders to have a voice in your home. Ephesians 6:1-3 says, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 "Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise—3 "so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." Parents play an essential role in our lives. The home is supposed to be kept, protected, and shielded. I noticed and observed that teens my age guarded their homes and were close to their parents.




Protect your family, Protect your Home. Every family has its fair share of ups and downs. Keep your home and protect it. God placed us in specific families for a reason, and I have come to understand the cause and value of this. I hope you learned a thing or two from this blog post. Please feel free to comment in the comment section below. Thank you, and God Bless You As You Do So. Have a great rest of your day, and See you Friday :).


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